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ARE YOU THE MASTER OR SLAVE OF YOUR PROBLEMS?
By Bob Garner
I own a number of rentals near where I live and recently I was speaking with one of my new tenants. She had been living in her new apartment for about a week, when she said to me, “I thought by moving into this new apartment that some of my old problems would disappear, but they haven’t.”
It may appear strange that she would say that, yet many of us say similar things when we switch jobs, friends, spouses, or significant others. We expect that a new job or new boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse will make all of our problems disappear. The reality is that most of the old problems never existed at the old apartment, at the old job or with those whom we are in a relationship. The problems only existed in our minds.
Sometimes, we have a tendency to take many of our problems and blow them out of proportion, until the proverbial molehill becomes a mountain. We become a slave to the problem. The problem engulfs our thinking, and we search for answers or help from others or try to manipulate others without first looking inward to see why this “problem” exists - and why we are letting it bug us.
Psychologists would have you look at the problem, deflate it or see the situation as it “actually is,” without distortion or magnification via our emotions. From a clinical standpoint, that process is highly effective; however, on a deeper, more spiritual level, there is more to understand.
First, one must comprehend that the mental anxiety that you feel due is a result of your willingness to allow the problem to disturb you. Secondly, one must also realize that you are surrounded by unlimited potential, love, and possibilities.
Let’s briefly examine these last two statements.
Have you ever had a problem that, in your opinion, was overwhelming, yet while you were watching a program on television or doing a fun activity, you were no longer upset about your problem?
Where did your problem go? It didn’t go anywhere. You just made a choice to not be upset about the problem – at that time - because you were thinking about something else. What does that tell you? It tells you that you have a choice as to whether or not to be disturbed. It also clearly shows you that your problem really has no power over you, except the power that you give it.
When you give your problem the power to disturb you, you become a slave to the problem. The problem is your master. You have to be willing to allow this problem to control you - to be your master. By not being willing to allow it to control you – you become the master.
Take back your power, by understanding that your mind is the only place that your problem exists. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “Nothing is either good or bad, only your thinking makes it so.” The problem, itself, is just an experience that you are currently having. (It is not good or bad; it just is.) However, what we do is add our emotions and feelings; therefore, expanding the problem to where it seems to be out of your control.
It’s your feelings and emotions that have made the problem “appear” to be out of control.
As I say in my speaking presentations, “Feelings and emotions can be changed, and whatever can be changed can be controlled.”
To control your feelings and emotions and to deflate the problems that are rising in your mind like a hot-air balloon, look at your problem as it “actually” is.
Sit down and dissect the problem, without getting your emotions involved. View it as an outsider. For example, has a total stranger ever sat down next to you on an airplane and told you their problems? If they have, you may have been able to offer a solution, because you were able to “see” their problem without personally “feeling” any of their emotions.
Additionally, instead of trying to solve your problem by blaming or manipulating others, see how you can change your view or your thinking with regard to that problem. Instead of saying, “Why does this always happen to me?” Ask yourself, “What can I learn about myself from this experience?” or “What can this experience teach me?” Work on you and the problem will begin to disappear.
Furthermore, understanding that you are encircled by infinite love, ideas, and possibilities will go a long way to helping you calm your nerves and with your problem more rationally and, therefore, with power. There is always more than one way to handle a problem; however, if you are so focused on the pain that you’re feeling, you won’t be able to sense the possibilities that are also available to you.
You have never had a problem enter your mind that, also, did not provide a viable solution. What happens is that we get so “wrapped up” in the anxiety and frustration, the feelings and emotions that we don’t allow the solution to come forth. It isn’t until we calm down, change our thinking, and let ideas flow to us that we become the “master” as opposed to the “slave.”
I explained this process to my tenant and asked her to try it, with regard to some of the problems that she felt were disrupting her life. Last week, she called me and told me that, by following this simple strategy, her old problems did disappear. She also stated that when new problems come up in her life, instead of blowing them out of proportion, she follows the same techniques and the problems disappear.
We have the power to let things and people disturb us. No one has the power to make us miserable or upset; no situation or concern has the power to make us feel angry, tired or depressed, unless we give a person or a situation that power.
Take back your power. Allow the Infinite Love to flow through you, around you and in you. Grab a hold of your feelings and control them. Refuse to let other people or situations control your life.
Understand that within you is a powerful mind, and when you see your quandary for what it “actually” is – just an experience – then through your new outlook of postivity and serenity, you will deflate the concern. It will be solved in its proper time and in the way it should be solved, without harm or hurt to others.
It is normal to have problems in life, yet abnormal to let them control you. Take back the control and be the master of your problems, not the slave.
Bob Garner is recognized as an entertaining motivational speaker, who actually has something to say! An internationally syndicated writer, Bob is the author of "Masters of Motivation" which has been called a “must read” by business leaders, as well as the creator of inspirational CDs, that have empowered thousands. Sign up NOW for his FREE monthly, AWARD WINNING EZINE called "Personal Success" at http://www.bobgarneronline.com and receive a FREE MP3 inspirational audio: “Personal Success – It’s a Choice.”