Change the way you think. Create magic in your life!™

Happy Holidays!

First, a little bit of business and then a few questions and answers from some recent emails.

Peace be unto you and yours today and throughout the years.

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Instead of an article this month, I thought I would share with you some interesting questions that have been emailed to me, as well as my response:

Question: "I am trying to deal with a problem, but I am so angry. I can't figure a way out. How do I get out of my situation?"

Answer: A desire to escape a problem is the wrong route to take. It is better to understand the problem. Don't take the problem personally. Just step back and look at it as an outside observer. This takes the sting out of the problem and allows you to create a more peaceful solution.

Q: "When I fail at doing something, I can really be hard on myself. What can I do to ease the pain?”

A: You have connected an event or situation to your "identity" and therefore, you believe that if you have failed, you must be a failure. You may desire to have a situation come out a certain way, but you must release that desire's connection to you. What is success or failure but a label - a label that we apply to an event in direct relationship to how others may interpret the outcome. Look at what it is you wish to do and remove the need for others to note whether you were - in their eyes - successful or not. If no one were to notice whether you were "successful" or whether you had "failed," you wouldn't really care about the outcome. Beyond doing the best that you can do, try to eliminate the importance of labeling your results.

Q: "I think that I am a very positive person, but my husband said I am negative. How can I discover who is correct?"

A: Trying to discover "who is correct" is, in itself, somewhat negative. For if you discover that you are correct, what would you do with those results? Perhaps, the best thing to do is to use your desire to discover the possible negativity of your conscious thoughts as a way of learning how to become a more peaceful person. You can do this via a simple exercise. Take a moment to write on a pad of paper any “strong” feelings or thoughts that you have throughout the day such as, "I hate this cold weather," "That idiot cut me off," "Look at the beautiful sky," etc. Review these feelings and see how many are positive or negative.

Of course, the veracity of this exercise will depend on how honest you are with yourself. If, during this exercise, you make a point to say nice and wonderful things when you usually would not, then you may need to enlist the aid of your husband or a close friend to monitor and notate your normal reactions to life. Regardless of the outcome to this experiment, look at what you have learned about yourself and use this information to adjust your reactions to events or people in you life.

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"Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves." - Edwin Way Teale, author.

"Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have even lived a more simple and meager life than the poor." - Henry David Thoreau, author, philosopher.

"The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust." - Josh Billings, aka Henry Wheeler Shaw, humorist, author.

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go." - Martha Washington, First Lady and wife of 1st US President George Washington.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - The Dalai Lama.
Bob Garner
+1.805.534.1576 (International)

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